Q: What are your thoughts about letting your child sleep in the bed with you? My child is 3 and it’s something I do sometimes, not all the time. I have other parents that tell me I’m awful and I’m going to mess up my child.
A: Let me first point out that this is an “opinion” article that I write. And so I’m sure some people do not agree with what I say at all. But it’s just my opinion and based on my own personal experiences over the years. So my personal opinion on this subject is….Whatever gets you the most sleep! LOL! As a parent, I think I’ve done everything I said I’d never do and letting your child sleep in the bed is one of them. I think you have to use your judgement. I think you have to be smart about it. You want your child to be able to sleep in their own bed. But if it’s something that you do sometimes, I think it’s ok. How often do we hear about how important sleep is for our health? And how often are we not getting sleep?! As a parent there are many battles that we have to pick and choose and decide which ones to fight and which ones that are not a big deal for us. You’re going to find people on both sides of this argument. You just have to decide where you fall and don’t let others make you feel bad.
Q: My child is 6 years old. I have a tendency to give in and do whatever is easiest, especially when we are out in public. I don’t want the time that we spend together to always be argumentative. How do you recommend not being a pushover but still having fun at the same time?
A: This is a super difficult question to answer and if anyone knows the correct answer… please tell me. There is a very fine line between being a drill sergeant and being a pushover. Then when you add in the events of your day, well this could be the icing on the cake or the straw that breaks your back. Our emotions and how we parent have a lot to do with the environment we are surrounded by and the circumstance of our lives. If I have worked a double, get home at 9:30 at night and my child doesn’t have their homework done, I’m going to handle that differently than if it was a reasonable time and I had a great, productive day. I think it’s important for us to simply be aware of these factors that can have an effect on how we parent. My biggest piece of advice for not being a pushover is going to be consistency. There is no exact formula to being a great parent. But what you can do is be consistent. That way your child knows what to expect. Go over the rules that you want them to follow and enforce those rules. These could be generalized. For example, in this house we respect each other and we don’t yell — we listen to each other. Whatever you want those rules to be so that no matter the situation, they know what to expect on their part and what the consequences would be for breaking that rule. We have to be the bummer sometimes. But if you are consistent and stay strong, the unwanted behavior will subside. And I’m not saying it’s easy. It’s not. But the payoff is well worth the time put in and what you will have is a person you actually want to spend time with and have fun with all the time! Think of it like a trip to Disney. The ride up there can be rough but when you get to Magic Kingdom your heart is happy.
Q: My daughter is in 5th grade and I can’t tell you how distraught I am about the events that are taking place in our country. I worry so much about the safety of my child. From the shootings in malls, the troubles the law enforcement are facing to bombings in New York. How can I help her be better prepared in case something happened?
A: I am right there with you on this one. I feel like I read something daily about a horrific event that has taken place. If she is in 5th grade, then she knows a lot too. Those kids talk when something big happens. I can tell you that I have had kids in elementary school talk about being scared of ISIS. That’s so sad. I have two ways of thinking when it comes to this question. First, I believe knowledge is power. I try to equip my child with as much knowledge and information that she can cram in her brain. God forbid something should ever happen and she’s in some type of terrible event but I want her to have an idea of what to do. And this is something that you can go into a lot of detail or a little detail. I’ll give you an example, my child knows should someone ever kidnap her and put her in the trunk of a car that she has to bust the tail light out and get her hand outside, hoping someone sees it and calls for help. Keep in mind, my child is in middle school, so she is older. That information is power. My second thinking on this question is we can’t let the worries of the world keep us isolated and afraid to go outside our home either. I think it’s good to talk to your kids about current events and have discussions on things that could help them or possibly save their lives. It’s up to you how much information you would give your child based on their age and what you think they could handle. Every time I go to a training and come back with new information, I share it with my child if I think it will help her at some point. And then she always looks at me and says, “Did you go to another training today?!” HAHA. Knowledge is power and prayer doesn’t hurt too!