Modeling Positive Body Image for Children
Have you ever been bathing suit shopping at Target with your teenage daughter? Depending on how they feel about their bodies, this can be a terrifying and saddening event for them and us. Think about bathing suit shopping for yourself? For a lot of us this is the last thing we want to do because of how we feel about ourselves. Can we have a good relationship with our bodies and still be a work in progress at the same time? The answer to this is a resounding yes and we can teach our kids to love their bodies too.
We live in an image driven culture that has unrealistic beauty expectations placed on all genders, ages and ethnicities. These demands can have a negative impact on our children and how they see themselves and their bodies. As a parent, you can teach positive body image to your children and have a direct influence on their mental well-being. Even more beneficial would be if you demonstrated this behavior and modeled how this is done.
Eating disorders have significantly increased in the last 20 years. You see this mostly with teens ages 12-19 but there are cases as early as 5 years old with eating disorders. Today we will look at ways that we can teach children about healthy eating and ways to stay active while having a positive relationship with their bodies.
Be a positive role model for your children.
Children tend to mimic the behaviors and attitudes of the people around them. As summer approaches I encourage you to think about your own attitude towards your body. When you get ready to take your child to the pool with friends, what do you say about yourself and your body as you put your swimsuit on? Do you have a positive body image towards yourself? Think about how you talk about your own body and what impact that could have on your children.
The way in which we talk about our bodies and to our bodies can positively or negatively impact the way our children see themselves. Talk about yourself in positive ways. Don’t be afraid to point out your imperfections. We are all different and diverse and everyone is unique in their own special way. Do not be afraid to have discussions about the unrealistic standards of beauty right now. You want to be that person your child feels like they can talk to about their own body image issues. It is so much better to be able to talk about this versus them suffering in silence.
Be active when it comes to health.
Show your children the importance of being physically active. This will improve overall mental health too. You can teach them about how being active and finding an activity that they love will improve their overall mood. Try exposing them to many different types of physical activity until you find one that works best for them. We all know that this sometimes takes time to figure out the right one. You can teach them that being active can be a positive contribution to their overall health and reaching their body’s maximum potential.
See your body as a partner.
This is something that has really stuck with me lately that I think is a great way to look at our overall health. I want you to think about how you talk about your own body. Do you say kind things about your body or do you criticize your body for failing you? A great exercise in this is to pay attention for one week to how people talk about their own bodies. You will notice people say things like, my body is just getting old, or my knees are giving out and my body hates me. I want you to use a different perspective and see your body as a partner and not an enemy. Consider using a different lens to view your health. If your body is not reaching its potential consider what part you played in this and how you can remedy it.
Develop a positive relationship with food.
One of the first strategies you can use to improve the relationship with food is teaching kids that foods are not “good” or “bad.” This can create anxiety and develop overeating in the future that results in your child feeling like a bad person for what they were eating. You should teach everything in moderation. Emphasize all of the wonderful things that healthy food can do for their bodies but don’t shame them for eating ice cream every once in a while. Over the long run this will create an environment for your child to make healthy choices and feel good about what fuel they are putting into their body.
Celebrate and praise ALL attributes of your child.
Teaching your children to celebrate all things about themselves will create a positive overall image for them that doesn’t solely focus on how they look. Not all kids are athletes so it’s important to celebrate all of the amazing things they are capable of doing. This includes climbing up a jungle gym, playing with others and their contagious smile. Don’t forget to place a spotlight on all their wonderful characteristics such as how kind they are to others, their creativity and how much they make you laugh. Positive affirmations can reduce the negative self-talk that can get all of us and improve overall self esteem.
Being that positive role model when it comes to body positivity will have an impact on your child’s self esteem and the overall way they think of themselves. We all have things about ourselves that we don’t love and it’s good to talk about those negative feelings. This is a great way to show your child that we are all works in progress, but at the same time we can still love ourselves. I challenge you to think about your own beliefs about your body and where that comes from. You can be that positive role model teaching about healthy body imaging, developing positive relationships with food and encouraging physical activities that they will love. You can show them what it looks like to be a partner with your body and be thankful for everything it provides you.