I cannot tell a lie. I absolutely love Mother’s Day. I look forward to it all year long.
Because I always plan on taking full advantage of a day that revolves completely around me. I want to be a queen for the day! Or at least get some preferential treatment.
Now that I have an infant and an extremely boisterous 3 year-old, I need some down time more than ever. As in, Mama might get sent to the looney bin soon if she doesn’t get a day off.
But does a “day off” really exist for a mom? I honestly don’t think so unless you aren’t in the same city, state or country as your children.
So below is the Mother’s Day of my dreams. What I REALLY want my Mother’s Day to be like, not the politically correct version of brunch with my sweet children and husband at a nice restaurant.
Because we know where that realistically ends. The kids will more than likely scream and/or cry the entire time. I will loudly whisper and give my mom side-eye to my preschooler, threatening to take away his iPad for the rest of his life if he doesn’t stop doing forward rolls in the middle of the restaurant. Then my husband and I will try to eat our food while one of us chases our 3 year-old that continues to forward roll around the restaurant and the other feeds the baby with one hand while eating with the other.
The Mother’s Day of my dreams looks like this.
I want to sleep in. Like, actually sleep in. Not the “Oh yay, the baby slept until 6:30 a.m.!” sleep in. I want to sleep until 9 a.m. I know, right? Doesn’t that sound magical?
For breakfast, I want the biggest French Vanilla Latte from Starbucks and French toast. And I want to eat it alone. In complete silence. While watching TV on the couch in my leggings and sweatshirt.
I want to see my kids—the tiny humans that made me a mom. I want them to present me with their handmade cards and pictures of me. I want there to be globs of glue stick under hearts that were cut out by a 3 year-old. I want there to be too much glitter and a big kiss and lots of hugs.
But in the pictures they draw of me, I want to look really skinny. And I want to have a great tan. And really long, beautiful hair. And eyebrows that have been properly tweezed in the last three months.
Then I want the kids to go away.
Judge me all you want, but it’s called MOTHER’S DAY. Every other day of the year is kid’s day.
I want to lounge around uninterrupted. So I can take a long, hot shower. And take over the couch without any kids jumping on my face or crying because they want to watch that one episode of Mickey Mouse Road Racers where they visit a haunted house.
I want to watch the entire season of Project Runway All Stars that I have DVR’d but haven’t been able to watch yet because I’m playing with the kids, doing their laundry, talking them out of jumping off the bookcase in the living room or cleaning up their messes.
And I want to do this while eating cheesecake. And drinking red wine.
I want to feel relaxed. Like, actually relaxed. I honestly don’t know if I would realize that feeling now.
Sounds selfish doesn’t it? As I read this back to myself, I think, “Geez Jamie, be nicer!”
Maybe it is selfish, but us moms need a break every once in a while. We need time to refuel. And let’s be honest, how often do us moms with small children get to do that?
If we want to be our best mom selves, we have to get a break. We pour our hearts and souls into caring for these tiny humans. And though we love them more than life itself, it can be draining. To the point that we lock ourselves in the bathroom for an hour and turn on the shower and just sit on the floor drinking coffee and eating an entire bag of Brownie Brittle.
P.S.—I did that exact same thing last Mother’s Day.
So before you buy your wife jewelry or order her flowers for Mother’s Day, ask her what she REALLY wants. The answer might just surprise you!