Merry Christmas and happy holidays! It’s that time of year for beautiful memories, laughter with family, and a smidge of holiday panic. In the spirit of the season, I decided to rewrite a Christmas song for all the parents that are reading this. You’ve got this! This will be a magical Christmas no matter what!
Disclaimer: The plan was to make this rhyme, but it just didn’t work out. I am not a poet. So, enjoy this non-rhyming song/post/article/possibly rap.
On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me…
one toy on a Christmas list that has been sold out for two months and won’t be restocked until March 2024.
Two times the normal amount of caffeine I usually consume, which is already a lot. I’ll take an extra-large, iced coffee with additional caffeine, please.
Three spiders climbing out of a fake Christmas tree that we keep in a basement 10 months a year. I am HIGHLY allergic to pretty much everything that occurs in nature, and sadly, the Johnson family will never have a real Christmas tree.
Four new rolls of wrapping paper that were on sale that I really didn’t need but they were so cute, and they were a great deal. You can never have too much wrapping paper. I don’t choose wrapping paper, it chooses me.
Five attempts at taking a photo that will adorn the Johnson family Christmas card. I forced my family into taking family pictures this year so now I must send out a Christmas card. I’m pretty proud of myself for being such a responsible adult.
Six nights of sugar hyped little boys that don’t want to go to bed. It’s Christmas, let them live their best lives.
Seven minutes out in the snow after putting on snow gear for 20 minutes. We have all been there. Bundle them up. Take a picture where they look so cute all bundled up. Throw them outdoors into nature only to hear them come back in once you have settled down to do something you enjoy.
Eight mini candy bars in one sitting when I’m stressed because that many tiny candy bars can’t equal one whole candy bar.
Nine thousand emails with deals and steals that will knock your socks off! I buy one item from one store and receive four emails a day from them for the next 12 years of my life.
Ten days of dressing my children like an elf, a reindeer, a snowman, and a Christmas tree for school. No offense to the schools whatsoever. My kids absolutely love it! I just tend to be a little unprepared for those days.
Eleven minutes of a cheesy Christmas movie on the couch until someone comes into the room and complains about something or asks me to get them a snack. You know the drill. It might take me two weeks, but I will finish that movie.
Twelve strands of Christmas lights in one large tangled ball. Each year I tell myself not to take everything down in a hurry, and every year I end taking everything down in a hurry. I should just throw the tree down in the basement still decorated each year.
I hope you and your family have an amazing holiday season!
