“To educate a person in mind and not in morals is to educate a menace to society.”
Theodore Roosevelt
With so much emphasis on teaching tested subject matter in our school systems, we may be neglecting one of the most important aspects of education — character. The quote by Theodore Roosevelt brings the point home because our children could be stars in the classroom or all-star athletes, but if their character training has been neglected, true friends and admirers of their character, rather than their abilities, could be scarce.
So where do we start with character training? The ‘Golden Rule’ is a good start. Treat others the way you want to be treated is a motto we can all embrace. As a child, I remember my dad saying over and over: ‘Pretty is as pretty does,’ ‘Don’t judge a book by its cover,’ or ‘Now, just act as good as you look.’ The repetition of these clichés ingrained in me the principles and ideals that I still practice and share with my own children and grandchildren. This is just one of the ways we teach. In order to teach the character trait of respect, we start focusing on the Golden Rule, by repeating it often and asking the questions “would you want someone to treat you that way or to say that to you?” By using these techniques we can bring the golden rule and respect into each situation. One of my personal favorites is the “what if” game. “What if someone treated you that way? How would you feel?”
For a fun activity with your children, take a ruler, cover it with glue and sprinkle it with gold glitter. What a great reminder of the Golden Rule! Make posters or signs to put on mirrors in the house. Ask your children to find examples of people using the Golden Rule in the newspaper. If they enjoy drawing, draw pictures of people being nice to each other. Then talk about it around the table. Children are very observant and they can probably point out when you follow or don’t follow the Golden Rule; so you’ll have to watch your own words and actions. What a great opportunity to build your own character while influencing your children!
I was once focusing on the concept of coveting, which is a difficult principle for young children to understand. I knew my son understood when he caught his father wanting another homeowners’ pile of topsoil! He said, “Dad you can’t want that dirt because it belongs to someone else. That’s coveting! But… you can want one like it!”
Reward systems are a nice method to use with the Golden Rule. Showing respect and using manners are the basics when teaching this simple concept of mutual respect. Creating a chart with stars for good deeds or a manners chart that is filled in by a caring adult is productive. Rewards can include making a cake together for someone who is sick, doing a good deed for a neighbor together or reading to a shut-in. Teaching respect means showing respect to those who we often forget. A fun project for children of all ages is to be a pen pal to a nursing home resident. Ask the activity director of a facility to give you a name. Exchange letters for a few weeks, and then take your child to meet their pen pal!
The dinner table can be a great place to share daily examples of how we have shown or been shown respect throughout our day. After dinner is a perfect time to read stories and books which teach respect and use the Golden Rule. Some examples for children might be ‘Friend is Someone Who Likes You’ by J. Anglund, ‘Rubber Shoes, A Lesson in Gratitude’ by Gladys Barbiere, or ‘Velveteen Rabbit’ by M. Bianci. For teens some choices include ‘Sounder’ by W.H. Armstrong, ‘Contender’ by R. Lipsyte, or ‘Cat Ate My Gymsuit’ by P. Danzinger. A complete list of character books that teach respect, trustworthiness, responsibility, caring, fairness and citizenship can be found by category and age level at http://charactercounts.org/resources/booklist.php. Many of these books can be found at the Daviess County Public Library.
For more ideas on activities that teach respect, visit the Daviess County Extension Office or web site. If you have a good idea on how to teach respect, share it on our Facebook page. Let’s all start thinking about how to build character!