By: Jessica Weafer
Here’s the scene that’s probably all too familiar for most parents: In a matter of eye blinks the house transformed from clean to someone-call-ServPro-it’s-so-dirty after the kid(s) played for about five minutes; dirty dishes multiplied on their own in the kitchen sink; your spouse came home in a mood and now everyone is in a mood; and you’re exhausted, asking yourself, “Didn’t we just do this yesterday?”
It happens to every family from time to time. Your family’s rhythm, for whatever reason, gets off track, and all you want is a break.
There are hundreds of articles and Web sites stressing the importance of a husband and wife making the time to take dates once children come into the picture to help mend and maintain a positive relationship. But less common is the suggestion for a family date night — not just skipping cooking for an evening and going out for dinner, but consciously making the decision to take a fun-filled-we’re-not-going-to-sweat-the-small-stuff family date.
A few weeks ago my little family was having a rough time. We had all been very sick with horrible colds, bronchitis, and croup. Needless to say, our usually happy, positive demeanors had dwindled to easily frustrated, exhausted, and grumpy. My husband and I were growing easily agitated with our two-year-old, who was also growing easily agitated with us. We were just feeding off of each other’s negative attitudes and perpetuating the problem.
So we decided that a date night, just the two of us (a rare occurrence), is what we needed to cure our attitudes. We arranged for a sitter, decided where we were going, then, while we were all sitting on the couch waiting for the sitter and watching a movie, an idea struck us. The three of us should go out together!
What a great idea, we thought.
If we all had bad attitudes, then we all needed to work it out together! We are one unit, and when we are all down, we should fix it as one.
This revelation reminded me of a scene in the movie “Spanglish,” with Adam Sandler and Paz Vega (Flor). In the scene, Flor’s daughter, Christina, is mad at Flor. Christina tells her mother that she needs distance from her until she cools down. Then Flor leans over, nose to nose with Christina and says emphatically, “There is no distance between us!”
How true is that? There is no distance between family. If there is a problem, you don’t run away from it, you embrace it and make it better together!
On our family date, we did a little shopping, ate some yummy food, complete with dessert, and visited the children’s section of the bookstore. We set out on our date with positive attitudes. We knew there may be fits. Our son is two; there are always fits. But our renewed attitude made it OK, and actually, our little guy did great and never got upset. I know it’s because he was able to sense our new positive attitudes.
Since our family date, things have been great. We’ve all been our usual, easy-going selves, full of of fun, laughter, and positive energy!
When you’re ready for your family date, there are a lot of options in town to help your family let loose: ice skating, laser tag, the local art and science museums, the bookstore (my personal favorite), walking around the mall, going to dinner at one the many local restaurants, visiting our wonderful parks, or going to the movies. You could even just go for a walk or bike ride around the neighborhood.
Of course, I think it’s important for a mother and father to have alone time. Don’t forget about Thursday night’s Downtown Date Night for when you and your mate are ready for a date! Owensboro’s Downtown is a perfect place for a grown-up date, from the great restaurants, laid-back coffee shop, and the best place in town to get an adult beverage.
But it is equally important to have time as a family. Your family unit is a relationship just like your marriage. That relationship needs to be nurtured. When life starts to get hectic, and you find yourselves on the brink of agitation or checking prices for one ticket to Florida, make the conscious decision to let go of the negativity and have a little fun together.
FIX IT TOGETHER!