Q&A with Christina Dalton, MSSW, CSW
Q: I have an 8-year-old boy and he has trouble reading. He gets so frustrated. I feel helpless at times and his frustration comes through in misbehaving and anger. Is there anything I can do to help him?
A: This is a very common problem with children. I want to point out a positive for you first. It’s so good that you have recognized the issue and you are aware that his misbehaving could be a result of a reading disability. Some children go years and no one realizes that there is a learning disability and not just a bad attitude. Imagine for just a second not being able to read very well and functioning in this world. It would be so difficult and frustrating. There are several things that you can be doing to help your child. You can read to him and more importantly have him read to you. I would recommend that you make sure the books are on a level that he is comfortable with reading and then raise the difficulty as he improves. I would talk to his teachers and make sure that they are aware of your concerns and let the school know that you want to be involved and find out how you can help him outside of school. Something I heard once and I have always thought was a brilliant idea is to have your child watch TV with the sound off and turn on the closed captioning. This will force them to read the words to figure out what is going on. You can take turns reading the words, but the more he practices the better reader he will become. It’s a good idea to make sure it’s one of his favorite shows too. Just the fact that you have recognized that his behavior is linked to his reading ability is wonderful and I think you are most certainly on the right track!
Q: I work with children in poverty and my job is very hard. I really want to make a difference but at the end of most days I’m not sure that I have. The children I work with range in age from young to older kids. I know that I’m only at work for a set amount of time. What am I missing?
A: Well, I’m sure if you are working with children in poverty your heart is in the right place because you are probably not getting rich in doing so. The fact that you asked this question shows me that your heart is in the right place and that you are probably already making a difference in many of the lives you are working with, but you may not see it. I have been working with children and families in need for the last 15 years. It is difficult because you probably are not going to see the difference you are making, but I promise it sounds like you are helping. Here is the advice that I give to you. People will leave you in a positive or negative manner. I feel that it is our job to make that experience as positive as possible. Regardless of their situation at home, you can make their lives better when you are together. This is something that I can say and it’s easy to say, but doing it is another story. It’s not the easiest thing to do. But the fact still remains that people, everyone we come into contact with will leave us in a negative or positive manner. If you know that you are doing your best then that is all you can do. The more positive interactions you have the stronger your relationships will be. You’re doing great!
Q: School is starting soon and I am dreading getting my children back into the school routine. I have two children ages 7 and 12. What advice do you give to parents who hate mornings?
A: I don’t think there is any advice for this topic other than you have to suffer through it. I’m sorry I know that is terrible advice, but I am one of those parents too. When your children are on summer vacation their regular routine is off to some degree. It’s very difficult for everyone in the house to get back into the school routine. Some people will tell you to start early and practice getting ready by going ahead and putting them to bed early. In my opinion, why inflict this pain on yourself for practice?! You know it’s coming… LOL! Seriously, I think once they start school you have to enforce a regular bedtime. You have to bring order to the family. This is when homework has to be done, bath and bed. It’s going to be hard but it usually gets better and it takes time. My friends and family know that when school starts I may be tired and irritable for the next four to six weeks and then I will return to normal. I wish you the best of luck and lots of sleep!