By: Dr. Brian Gannon
Every year people have the best of intentions to improve themselves as a new year begins. But many of these resolutions are extremely personal, rather than family-focused. Following are some ideas to make you a better parent and family leader.
Live in the moment.
Our children grow up so fast. Yes, it’s a cliché, but that’s because it’s true. We have so much to do every day, partly because of commitments related to the children, that at times we live on auto-pilot. We forget to notice the little things our babies or toddlers do. Our days are richer when we enjoy the smiles, the goofy moments, and the quirks, the cute phrases our kids say. After all, children are so much fun! Just keep paying attention, and enjoy!
Make your home safer.
Accidents are a major source of injury in young children, so even simple changes may make a huge difference. Install an alarm, add locks to the pool fence, and put up the medicines. Don’t leave your family at risk just from an oversight. Research the latest recommendations for household safety at healthychildren.org.
Be more positive.
It is such a trap to focus on correcting your child’s behavior and mistakes. But the successes must be recognized as well, so he knows what you want him to do, how you would rather he act. When he shares nicely with his sister, tell him how pleased you are with his thoughtfulness. These reminders and positive comments return huge dividends, much more so than the tenth “no” of the day.
Make good food choices.
Children learn diet habits from their parents, and our actions speak louder than words. Plan to include an extra fruit in your daily routine, avoid that second helping, or stop buying sugary drinks. Every good choice will decrease the chances your child ends up with a weight problem later.
Listen.
Studies clearly show that the teenagers who are best able to resist falling into high-risk behaviors are those who feel socially “connected” to a trusted adult, meaning one with whom they feel safe discussing peer pressure, romance, and substance use. Sure, we would love for this trusted adult to be a parent, but the main thing is that the child should have an outlet to talk about these issues instead of feeling pressured into an unwise choice during some social situation. Listening to your child’s needs, desires, and interests also makes you a more tuned-in parent, able to do a better job choosing gifts as well as disciplinary methods. It’s another cliché, but we can learn a lot from listening to our children.
Maybe the holiday season is making me wax sentimental, but there is hard science behind these recommendations. And these ideas just feel right. After all, listening and learning to be more positive is a whole lot easier than losing 20 pounds before spring break…