Helping Children Navigate the World of Friendship
Friendships play a major role in how we view the world, develop our beliefs and perspective. Childhood friendships have a certain kind of magical quality to them. You can probably think of some friends right now that you have known since elementary school. These early friendships provide companionship but also help to support a child’s social, emotional and cognitive skills. While parents may feel they have little influence on their child’s peer interactions, they can significantly impact their development by teaching and modeling healthy relationship skills. Parents and guardians can have a huge impact on helping their kids develop healthy relationships and friendships by teaching and modeling these skills.
Close friendships offer many benefits, from combating loneliness to improving our overall well-being. For instance, during adolescence, having close friends can help with stress and anxiety, making high school more manageable. Friendships enrich life, providing a space for authenticity, shared experiences, and support during tough times, which can increase confidence and self-esteem, particularly in youth. A good rule of thumb is that you can survive high school if you have at least one good friend.
Friendship making skills are critical for a person to thrive in the world. Exploring what it takes to be a good friend and nurturing these connections can create lifelong bonds that shape one’s future. How can we guide our children in cultivating enduring friendship skills? These five steps below can help you develop these skills in your children.
Encourage play with others and interaction
When your children are little encourage play with other children. Create opportunities for your children to interact with other children. These types of activities teach children to take turns, share and learn empathy. Every interaction can be a learning opportunity.
Teach children social skills
Research shows that children who have strong social skills have a higher chance of staying in school, happier in their future relationships and maintaining better health overall. You can model social skills that encourage communication, sharing and being able to express yourself. When children have strong social skills this is the foundation for developing healthy, lasting friendships.
Foster kindness
Kindness is a big part of a positive relationship. Encourage your child to be kind to others, welcoming and open to new friendships and to stand up against bullying of others. You can ask your kids what they did today to make other kids feel included or happy. And you can reciprocate by telling them how you made others feel included and showed kindness. It sounds like a simple enough task but you are actually sowing seeds that will impact their future interactions with others.
Be supportive and listen to them
This is an important part of helping them to have lasting relationships. As your children are figuring out friendships you have to be an active listener. Sometimes when our children bring us a problem they are having with a friend, we don’t see it as a big deal. Keep in mind that it’s a huge deal in their world. You can support your child’s friendships by being actively involved and knowing what is going on. You can help to guide conflict resolution and problem solving skills.
Walk the talk
As the parent or guardian be the positive example for your child. You can be the friendship model for them by showing them through your own friendships and social interactions. Be the very best example of showing others kindness, empathy and respect. Your child is learning every single day by watching your interactions with others.
I think we can all agree that not all friendships are created equal. Sometimes it takes awhile to find our people. Friendships aren’t perfect. They take work and time. They require active participation and interaction. Children don’t know what they don’t know.
Summer is the perfect time of year to practice these skills. The sooner you start, the better off your kids will be.