Everyone at our house loves this time of year (well, everyone but my husband David). It’s not because of the weather or going to the pool, but rather because it’s “Back to School” time. Although my daughters, Kaitlyn, 22, and Kendall, 18, no longer need to load up on school supplies, we still anticipate the displays and crowded aisles filled with paper, pencils, folders, and all of the latest Crayola crayon products.
However, this year back to school looks quite different for our family. Kaitlyn, who graduated from college this past spring, is returning to continue her education in a masters program and is thrilled to have her first apartment. Kendall, on the other hand, just graduated from high school and will begin a new adventure as a college student in a few weeks. Needless to say, our school supply list has changed from markers and folders to comforters and towels, college-size refrigerators, and a plethora of storage bins.
Being the parent of a child who is graduating brings mixed responses from others. The most often heard is “Oh, how sad that your daughter is leaving home!” On the contrary, I feel we must have a positive attitude and view this as a developmental milestone for our children, much like learning to walk, talk, the first day of school, and getting a drivers license. Each of these stages evokes precious memories, but we know as parents that we can’t freeze time. Although separation is difficult for both the parents and child, we must embrace this amazing opportunity for our children. Just as I was thrilled to watch the girls climb on that big yellow bus as they entered kindergarten, I know that it was equally exciting to get a phone call from Kaitlyn about an awesome grade on a mid-term or being elected as an officer in her sorority. Presently, Kendall and I are having a blast searching for items to make her dorm room feel like home. Because her dorm is in the same part of campus that I lived in my freshman year at UK, this seems like a trip back in time. I know that my perspective will definitely influence the girls’ attitudes about being away from home. Therefore, I choose to see the glass as half full!
When each of our daughters entered high school, I remember the principal making a very important point that I feel is applicable to college as well. The importance of becoming involved in some type of club or activity was highly encouraged. Because David and I both had outstanding college experiences, largely due to our involvement on campus, we could not agree more. Since most college students will become a little fish in a big pond, I see this as an exceptional piece of advice. The options are limitless: bible studies, Greek life, intramurals, service clubs, philanthropies, etc. There is something for everyone, and this is the best way to connect with others who have similar interests and a great way to make new friends!
Although friends are important, they in no way fill the void of not having your parents. Many will argue that once a child graduates from high school, their job, as a parent, is complete. This could not be farther from the truth. While Kaitlyn and Kendall are technically considered adults, they will agree that we still take any available opportunity to teach a lesson or discuss important issues. Solicited or not, once a parent, always a parent. Obviously our children are not physically with us, but hopefully those lessons that parents have instilled since birth will continue to be with them when they are making important decisions.
College is definitely a bridge between childhood and adulthood. Although this is certainly a bittersweet time – no games or tennis matches to attend, fussing about too much Facebook or Twitter time, or worrying about whether projects made it to school – we must think of how fortunate we are to have two exceptional daughters who have the opportunity to attend college. Yes, you will see me shopping for school supplies in the days to come. However, my basket will be full of shower caddies, hangers, desk accessories, and laundry baskets. With all of the fun we are having decorating, we must not forget…girls, you are going to college to learn! Adding in some notebooks, pens, and binders will also be a must for our school supply list.