Simple Parenting Resolutions for the Overstressed and Overstretched
“The days go by slowly, but the years pass quickly.” If you had to capture the emotional rollercoaster of parenting in one sentence, that might be it. The stress of any given day can leave parents feeling defeated. The pressure of the years can make us overwhelmed.
The best parenting advice I have received is to fight against getting too high or too low and instead be intentional with the time I have. That same person encouraged my wife and I not to think of parenting as a stretch of unending days or a set of limited years, but to look at it as a series of manageable weeks.
Do you know how many weeks you’ll have with your children between the time they’re born and the time they graduate high school? Nine hundred and thirty-six, give or take. That’s…
›› 936 Saturday morning cartoon sessions.
›› 936 Sundays at church.
›› 936 Wednesday pizza nights, Friday movie bonanzas, or whatever else you like to do as a family.
I don’t know about you, but for me and Sarah that helps put time in perspective. We no longer have to panic over a bad day, nor stress about how fast the years fly by. Perspective allows us to be gracious with one another, as well as with our son. It also helps us be intentional.
The community we’re a part of helps us keep track of our weeks with a jar of marbles. It’s a gift given to all new parents. We set our jar in our son’s room and since he was born on a Wednesday, every Wednesday we remove one marble.
What are you going to do with the time you have left?
Last Father’s Day, as my wife prepared to give birth to our first child, I came up with a list of resolutions I wanted to guide my parenting. These are inexpensive or even free commitments anyone can do. A year later, I’d like to share that list with you. While these are written from a father to a son, they could easily be adapted for any parent-child relationship. There simply my way of being intentional with the limited time I have.
›› Pray with and over him daily.
›› When speaking, always look him in eye and never be condescending.
›› Love his mother in such a way that if one day he treats his wife the same, I will be proud.
›› Speak value, strength, and courage into him each day by affirming something I already see or proclaiming something I believe to be possible.
›› Have breakfast with him weekly, man night with him monthly, and a father-son retreat with him annually.
›› Keep my word.
›› Be present, especially for meals, bedtime, and events.
›› When I mess up, say, “I’m sorry.”
›› Make him laugh, give him a hug, and tell him, “I love you,” at least once each day.
›› Identify and develop shared interests.
›› Give him a hand-written letter each year on his birthday that casts a vision for his future.
›› Talk regularly about my faith.
I have and hope to continue using this list as points of accountability for my relationship with my son. Of course, my list isn’t exhaustive. You can borrow some of these or come up with your own. Parenting isn’t a one-size-fits all job and, of course, no two kids are the same. But in every case, the stakes are high. You are shaping a life and you have a limited, but manageable, window to do so.
So, hang in there. The days certainly go by slowly, but the years pass quickly. Be intentional. What can you do this week to invest in your child? You have an awesome responsibility. I hope you have an equally awesome Mother’s Day and Father’s Day.