It seems like just a month ago that I brought home a baby from the hospital. Yesterday I dropped him off at college. How could this have happened? It may be cliché, but it is true. Time does fly by and if we blink we’ll miss out.
From the moment a child is born, the process of letting go begins. Don’t believe that? Think about the first day in the hospital— sharing that beautiful boy or girl with your friends and relatives. They all get turns holding the little miracle.
At home, kids quickly learn how to communicate what they want. It’s natural for babies to demand food, attention or a dry diaper. You give them what they need and often can tell just by their tone which of the three they want.
Kids crawl and explore. Later they walk and run— sometimes away from you! “Paging the lost customer, little Evan, wearing a red t-shirt. Please come to the check-out counter.”
Another year or two and they go to school with 24 other little strangers and one teacher. They learn what the school board says they should, in a style unique to that teacher. The kids are developing high-level social skills, designed to help them cope and succeed.
In sports or music, they see how important team work is and how to develop their potential.
In high school or maybe even middle school, they begin to understand how fun it is to get attention from someone of the opposite sex.
They are in the process of leaving the nest, even days after birth. So enjoy each day and love the time you have. Make the most of it.
While I am not a sociologist or pastor or social worker, I will share some “advice from a normal dad.”
Be sure to teach your child values. A few years ago, I read a book called, “Raising a Modern Day Knight.” It proclaimed the need to teach principles and values that will go with our children throughout their lives. Face it— life is not always simple. So my wife and I have tried to prepare our kids for just about anything.
1. Lead Courageously
We want our kids to know that it takes courage to lead well. Our world’s culture can often encourage destructive behavior, whether that is drinking, taking drugs or becoming sexually active. It takes courage to lead the “right” way sometimes.
2. Be Responsible
When you mess up, fess up. We all make mistakes. We need to admit that and learn from those mistakes. It’s great when our kids see us model this also.
3. Reject Passivity
Sometimes we “sin” through omission, rather than action. Standing by and doing nothing when action is called for is a principle we want our kids to learn. Teach them to not stand by and watch a kid get bullied or allow a friend to make bad choices. Don’t be passive.
4. Expect the Greater Reward
Good things do come to those who wait. Delaying pleasure, whether that’s buying an Xbox, a car or even eating out too often, will heighten the appreciation of what you get. We live in an impatient society. A fast food, “I want it now,” mentality. The reality is we cannot always have what we want, when we want it, as kids or even as adults. Teaching this to our youth can keep them from maxing out the credit cards and filing bankruptcy as an adult.
5. Seek Wisdom
Our kids have great local schools and succeed in many of the national standardized tests. While knowledge is great, knowing what to do with knowledge is wisdom. We hope that our kids are wise and are able to seek out advice when needed. It is important for our youth to have mentors ready to help in times of confusion.
My wife and I have tried to raise three Modern Day Knights. Six weeks before dropping Evan off to college, our eldest married his fiancée. He has tried to live by these guidelines and today he is happy, well-adjusted and married to a wonderful young lady. As a parent, who can ask for anything more?