Ahhhhhh, youth sports. Some days I absolutely love you. The days are beautiful and it’s warm and my kids are in a good mood and it’s such a fun experience. I look forward to these days. They give me life.
But other days, you are the bane of my existence. You start too early. The day can be rainy and it’s really freaking cold and both of my kids are crying.
And because it’s just what I do, I decided to rank youth sports – that my kids have played – on a scale of REALLY BAD MOOD to RAINBOWS AND BUTTERFLIES. You can thank me later when you consider enrolling your child in one or more of these sports.
Disclaimer: I ranked these sports based on my limited knowledge of my 4- and 7-year-olds playing them.
Basketball occurs in the winter months. That already gives it -57 points. I am not a nice person in the winter. I am angry because it’s cold and I only want to speak to people that also love Hallmark movies. Basketball involves a lot of loud buzzers in a cramped space. And the 8 a.m. games aren’t my jam. Add in the smell of sweaty kids and I’m out. I love you Henry and I will always watch you play basketball, but it’s not my favorite, or even my second favorite.
Basketball does have a few upsides. It’s indoors so the temperature is controlled. The uniforms don’t get muddy. They keep score on a board I can easily read. I know the majority of the rules. That’s it.
Score: REALLY BAD MOOD
Youth baseball games don’t begin at 8 a.m. so that starts it off with a +93 points. It is usually a sport that stays on the warm side. My kids love baseball so they never cry about having to go. I like that there are no loud buzzers and they keep score, which I think is important because I’m extremely competitive. I have officially turned into one of the moms that yells for their child every time they even look at the ball. I know most of the rules and there are usually food trucks at the games. Baseball is my jam and spring is a great season.
The negative: I still gasp every time any child slides because I’m scared they are going to break their leg. And the pants get really dirty. Sometimes fans yell at the umpires and I think that is rude.
Score: RAINBOWS AND BUTTERFLIES
Youth soccer is freaking adorable and if you don’t think it is, you are wrong. There is nothing cuter than a herd of 4-year olds chasing a ball around a soccer field. They kick it in the wrong goal and all cheer and have a genuinely great time. There is always one crier per game. And one player that just sits in the middle of the field. And that is what makes it such a charming game with great weather and reliable concessions. Unless your child is the one crying. Then we deduct points. But 83.5% of the time both of my kids are smiling at soccer. And they just look so cute in their uniforms.
The negative: Soccer is played outside, so no climate control. Uniforms can get very muddy. I have no idea what the rules are so I don’t know who is supposed to throw the ball in when or where. Sometimes my kid is the kid that cries and that is not a good time.
Score: RAINBOWS AND BUTTERFLIES
Well, there you have it, the youth sports rankings from an extremely reliable source. Come back next year for my take on karate.