Over the years of being a teacher, I have seen trends come and go. From Vans, to Birkenstocks, to UGGS, and Yeezy’s slides. Someone somewhere says that something is cool and the next thing you know the stores are sold out and every “cool” kid in class is wearing them. Parents are searching on EBAY and Facebook marketplace, just trying to make their kid feel included, to help them be “cool.” By the time some kids talk their parents out of the forbidden “dupes” and into early birthday and Christmas gifts, the trend has changed, and they are no longer “in.”
There can be so much pressure on kids, especially during the school year. The constant struggle to fit in can take away from the real reason for school – learning. There is never a reason why a student’s shoe game (or lack thereof) should ever be at the detriment to his/her learning. But the truth is, it is. It doesn’t just stop at shoes. It is clothing choices, name brands, having or not having social media, amount of TikTok followers, and even down to the type of water bottle used. Outside of algebra tests and writing lessons, students are trying to navigate the constant moving and changing “requirements” of being a kid.
Unfortunately, this journey doesn’t stop with kids in a classroom. I, too, find myself trying to be “relevant” following the new trends, whether it be jean style, books to read, or shows to watch. Recently, I found myself in the middle of a conversation with my own peers, which had me questioning my own “coolness.” I walked away feeling defeated; completely judged and rejected. Through what I thought was a defeat, on the other side of my tears, I realized something so beneficial and eye opening.
I am called to be different. I don’t say that meaning I am never going to wear flare pants, throwback Air Forces, or an oversized hoodie with leggings. Because trust me, I WILL wear all of the above. BUT, my confidence doesn’t come from the validation that those things bring me. Or from anything this world may bring me. My confidence comes from within, from the person God created me to be. And I think that there is a lesson in that; especially for us parents who may find ourselves trying to “fit in” by helping our kids “fit in.”
Instead of arguing with our kids about why they can’t have the newest fashion trend or why the “dupes” are just as “cool,” maybe we should be igniting something inside them to help them see that they are also called to be different. That yes, fashion is fashion, and we like what we like, but having or not having a staple item in our closet should never take away from our confidence or “coolness.” That realization has changed the way I think about my own parenting moving forward and because of that I wanted to share my heart.
Kids need validation. But, where are they receiving that validation? And I think THAT is the lesson I learned. If I sat back and waited on my peers to validate me and my “cool,” then I may constantly be searching the world for it. My confidence cannot be built upon others’ opinions of me. For me, I will build my confidence through my relationship with Christ and how He views and sees me. That alone empowers me to stand firm in my identity, with or without trends or what the world around me deems as “cool.” I want my students and my own kids to know that no matter what their “equipment” may look like, they are equipped, and that validation can’t be bought at a store.