Q&A with Christina Dalton, MSSW, CSW
A: I am not a morning person and I feel your pain. I think you have to suffer through it. I’m sorry that is terrible advice but I am one of those parents too. Summer vacation for most kids won’t have the structure that they are used to during the school year. It’s very difficult for everyone in the house to get back into the school routine. Some people will tell you to start early and practice getting ready by going ahead and putting them to bed early. In my opinion, why inflict this pain on yourself for practice?!! You know it’s coming…LOL!!! Seriously, I think once they start school you have to enforce a regular bedtime. I think an early bedtime is important. I also think getting things ready the night before helps tremendously. Your children are starting to get a little older and perhaps you can assign some of the work to them. It is their responsibility to have clothes ready, homework done and in the backpack. Your six year old is a little young for that maybe but I’m sure there are things they can contribute. You have to bring order to the family. This is when homework has to be done, bath and bed. It’s going to be hard but it usually gets better and it takes time. I wish you the best of luck and lots of good sleep!
Q: My daughter just started kindergarten and it hasn’t been a great experience so far. The teacher says that she cries, acts out and is out of control at times. I have no idea what is going on and I feel that I didn’t prepare her enough. Do you have any suggestions?
A: Kindergarten can be a difficult transition for any child. There is nothing that you did wrong. Some kid’s transition very well and for others it is harder. The first thing I would advise you to do is talk to her teacher and see what they might suggest first. I have worked in elementary schools for fifteen years and I have seen many children have a difficult time starting school. It could be that they don’t want to be away from mom or dad, they are not used to such a structured schedule or even as simple as they are tired and have not adjusted to the demands required of them. I always feel bad for the little ones at the end of that first day because they look so tired. I would suggest trying to entice your child with some type of reward system. You could put up a chart and make it fun. Kids love stickers. Let them put up a sticker or draw a smiley face for every day that they do well in school and at the end of a week, they get to go to their favorite place. It might be that you need to make the goals even smaller and go day by day. But please don’t feel that it is something you have done because it’s a very common problem. I think if you and the teacher work together that things will get better for both you and your child. It may just take a little time to adjust. I do want to add that if this behavior doesn’t improve a little over time that you should always consult your primary doctor. They may be able to offer help as well. Hang in there!
Q: Now that school is back in session how do I get my easily distracted child to do homework? Spelling is the worst. He won’t sit still and is constantly moving. I want him to make good grades but I’m near my point already. How do I make him care?
A: It’s really hard for kids to get back into the swing of things after having such a nice, long summer. It’s really hard for parents to get back into helping with homework too. When the kids go back to school you are given a whole new set of obligations as well. Something I have told several parents before in my parenting class is you have to motivate your children to want to do well. You have to make it fun for them. I know that sounds like a lot of work and they should just do it because they have to do it but it’s a win-win situation for you and them. What I have done before is tell the child that if they learn all their words and we feel like they really know them, they can give me a spelling test. What child doesn’t want to test mom or dad?! Now when it’s my turn to take the test, I always mess up and I sometimes even draw an animal or write a number for my answer. Then the child gets to grade my paper. It’s always fun and they love to mark all the answers wrong and give me a big, fat F! They are still learning and still practicing the whole time… Win-Win!
Christina Dalton, MSSW, CSW is the Family Resource Center Coordinator for Daviess County Public Schools.